writer, podcaster, paddleboarder

Month: May 2015

Tess’s Diary: 12 September, 2011

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react here. I’m sitting here looking out the window, watching England zip by, holding Fergus’s hand but not looking at him because I don’t know how. We’re in the Lake District by the looks of things. Through the […]

Tess’s Diary: 30 October, 2010

He sent me all his socks. Every one of them, in a giant mover’s box. Fuck, he’s got a lot of socks. And all in pairs as well, bloody weirdo. I love him. It took me about half an hour to get the flipping box home […]

Tess’s Diary: 2 July, 2011

I can’t take it any more. It’s every night. Has been for weeks. Just there. It’s always there. Thing is, I’m as rational as they come. When I was four, I told my mum and dad there was no way there was a Santa because […]

Tess’s Diary: 29 June, 2010

The thing about three day festivals is, by the Sunday, when you haven’t slept since a snooze up against a cooler whilst in a traffic jam on the Friday, you start to resent the arseholes making all that racket on stage. Which you can’t help […]

Tess’s Diary: 2 February, 2011

It happened again last night. I thought about waking Fergus, but I didn’t in the end. Things have been a bit funny with us. There’s something going on with some friend of his in Scotland, and he won’t really tell me what exactly. Which is […]

Tess’s Diary: 16 May, 2012

I once threw beans at a guy while he was dumping me. He’d made me a fry up, after insisting I stay for breakfast when I’d have been quite happy just to head off given that we’d had a pretty awkward night and the writing […]

Tess’s Diary: 5 January, 2013

Why does no one tell you how fucking weird it is being knocked up? Half of the people tell you how shit it’s going to be  (they’re not wrong), and the other half tell you bollocks about how magical it is  (yeah, whatever. Maybe occasionally.) […]

Tess’s Diary: March 7, 2010

I got a bit pissed. That’s all. Not falling over wasted; at no point was I in danger of dancing on tables or coming over all bolshy with a bouncer and getting us thrown out. But all the same, I suddenly became aware of the fact […]

Tess’s Diary: 17 August, 2010

The first time I thought about breaking up with Fergus, it was about a month in. Easter maybe, thereabouts. It wasn’t anything he’d done or said. It never is. I just looked at him, and I thought, ‘I can’t do this any more.’ We’d been […]

Tess’s Diary: 3 March, 2010

It’s lucky I wasn’t all that fussed on him, because after last night I would judge him if he got in touch. He’s alright, I suppose. More handsome than I’d remembered actually, but then that’s the problem. Handsome. I don’t really do handsome. Grungy and a […]